Found Hope

I'm on the phone, but these dudes ain't really listenin
I'm all alone, just a code up in the system, yeah
I go home and I feel like I been glistening
But in the city I just feel like I ain't fittin in
Its been a couple years, I've had my ups and downs
Forgot a lot of nights, I live for lost and founds
My teeth are grinded down, my patience wearing thin
Gained and lost a lot of pounds, my body image fairly grim

I got this feeling that someday I'll finally make it
Just to realize that everybody always makes it
It's just your definition of the life that you been chasing
But dreams are for the sleep, I think it's time that we all face it

I'm back to basics, one oh one
High fives all around cause the albums done
Sad emojis tossed around, cause the year was tough
No matter how hard we work, it never feels like enough

I'm on the road, I'm not sure where it goes
And I'll just go where it takes me, thinking nobody know
And I just know that they hate me when I'm writing these poems
I don't let that shit phase me, I been so full of hope
I write these lyrics as I'm looking in the mirror
Then I rap like I'm sober while I'm sipping my beer
Then my cravings grow stronger after every drink
I used to wanna be like Mac, but now I'm facing my fears
Cause I don't wanna be another sad story in the making
The worlds here and it's mine for the taking
I used to be afraid, so scared I was shaking
Found hope in the drugs that I'm no longer taking