Pentecostal

I like to think I'm steady
I'm not known to be too hostile
But I found myself at odds that day
With a preacher Pentecostal
Midst his fire and brimstone
I couldn't take it anymore
So I drank some liquid courage
And I headed for the door
Well Jack does the things
I know I could never do
This time it was no different
Though a bit more black and blue

'Fore I made it outside
He called me a heathen
I later thought "when he speaks in tongues
Sure sounds more like a demon"
So I waited while it snowed
For the sermon to finish up
Grabbed my brass knuckles
Who in the hell did I think I was?
I felt so high and mighty
When I preached to the preacher
I beat him to a bloody mess
And made him a believer

The snow turned all crimson
As he held out a holy hand
Asking for forgiveness
Like I'm some kind of holy man
Tears streamed down my face
And froze to my cheeks
Police said "Good to see you again"
It'd only been a couple weeks
That was the last I saw him
My old man in the snow
Sure he didn't talk about it
But he never let it go
That the reason for my troubles
Came from my mother's side
But boy did he get bitter
When his only love had died

So the church raised their funds
For all his hospital bills
Some say the Lord took him
But I'd say it was the pills
I suppose we weren't so different
That demon and his son
One wielded a bible
The other wields a gun
So before I take off running
With this bag full of cash
God bless you for lending an ear
I'll be gone in a flash
And when I go out guns a-blazing
With a chopper overhead
Just know there was more to me
Than whatever the TV says