23

I don't love you anymore
I don't want to lie
You can't tell the truth so
It's over
Goodbye

23
This might be the realest shit I ever wrote
NOXX you're a mad man for this one
Yeah

I'm 23 feeling like I'm finally up
Pour another drink in my cup
I ain't never giving in nor am I giving up
That's really the motto that my brother Teddy tatted up
Mind over matter had me feeling like I'm love-struck
Times like this got me
Feeling like messaging my ex saying what's up
Come on over babe, I just really wanna fuck
I just want your loving
I don't even want your trust
Fulfilling my requirements is like a given must
Getting used to this lifestyle I don't intend to adjust
Let's make out so we can have another breakup
These black heart thoughts got me reciting lyrics
From Teddy's love or lust
Do you ever wonder what we ever had was
Love or Lust?
Or have I got you drifting away
Like the deserts sand and dust
Coz lately I'm just tryna search for the man that my mother raised
Every other weekend got me unfazed
Surely if you saw what we saw
Then you'd be amazed
Road 2 Recovery made me a lost cause
But hold up, pause
I was really looking to be saved
Her love was something that I craved
Each night hopelessly I was waved
So my inner me is sorry for the way I behaved
& the pain is what makes me who I am
Current moment of time got me feeling like the man
So I stand on my own two just doing what I can
Looking at life and viewing success
As God as my witness
I can only come clean and confess
That this year alone has only been a blessing
Previous years had my confused and stressing
Tryna work out my reasons of my being
& the definition of life's meaning
Or why the fuck I was chasing a girl
Who rarely held any feelings?
So if you don't see the vision
I can't show you the picture
When one door closes another opens
So I'm restarting a whole new chapter
I just wanna see smiles and more laughter
So if you're looking in from the outside
I'm just pouring out my emotions from the inside
Become ever so numb that I've rarely cried
My ex would probably say that I rarely tried
But ask her how she'd feel if I truly died
And ask her who stuck by her at her bedside
Seeking her love which she denied
Knowing I'm only a phone call away
She would probably never ring due to pride
An ocean of love, I was swept away by the tide
Leaking all my emotions, there's not much that I can hide
Maybe one day well collide
You probably make another man happy by being his bride
But until then I just gotta let all this slide
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
I'm out here tryna regain my composure
There's reasons why I hated being sober
Brushing everything off my shoulder
Taking a leap of faith
Letting my music do all the talking
I could give you 13 reasons why
You just gotta listen to the tapes
As a man, I've been learning through my mistakes
With the pain, she caused living with heartaches
23 years old, this is my birthday cake
I'm just tryna start a new year with a clean slate
That's the reason why I ain't setting any dates
True story though I gave up on her like lent
In a house which she tore apart
Saying words she never meant
Now that's what we call an apartment
Pieces of me lie in you like a fragment
If I ain't happy doing what I do, then I ain't content
In my heart, I use to hold a lot resent
Now I'm on my knees trying to repent
To a certain extent
Using my voice as a way to vent
I can't get back lost time so that's the way I've had it spent
23

Renny