The Experiment

Here's my confession
I was looking for the pleasure
Of feeling so elevated
(Like indeed I was created)

I thought I had found it and I was feeling so lucky
Now I find myself hanging
(To ideals from ancestors)

The voice that tells me to keep going
Wants to shut up and lie dormant
And the voice of regret
Is still yearning to be heard

And the way things keep going seem arranged in an order
I so want to give up
Any ideals of perfection, my deceptions, and perceptions
These are all just my creations
And this is how I'm God: I will think ill then I'll see all float away
The fog, the boredom, the concoctions
All the different actions that have brought me to this point

If I were to quit
What would I do with my life
Do I want this for sure?
And if I went back and behaved like everyone
I really can't see through
Is it cowardice, but a coward I am not

And this experiment only
Keeps going and going and there's no way to stop it
I authentically can't be authentic in confusion
And the way things keep going seem arranged in an order
I so need to give up
Any ideals of perfection, my deceptions
And perceptions, these are all just my creations
And this is how I'm God: I will think ill then I'll see all float away
The fog, the boredom, the concoctions
All the different actions that have brought me to this point

So here's my confession
I was looking for the pleasure
Of feeling so elevated
Like indeed I was created
I thought I had found it and I was feeling so lucky
Now I find myself hanging
To ideals from ancestors