T.W.I.M.C.

This is all unbiased and nothing personal
Barely rehearsed this verse, it don't matter, Sneaky is surgical
I need to get it off my chest, its best if I converse with you
This stress is something else, if I held it in, it'd be worse for you
This shit I write got me wishing life was reversable
Questioning my beliefs like "There aint no way God is merciful"
But don't forget to be honest in every verse you do
Its hard enough to connect with these people that never heard of you
Been tryna change that, need to surf, where the wave at?
I need a fanbase that's gon' hold me down like a wave cap, uh
Its all factual, always did what I had to do
Ended up selling dope without posting up on the avenue
It's clear, feeling more entitled and less deservant
Now women see me at shows and wanna offer their service
The risk is never worth it
I also realized that it takes more energy for me to chase it than to curve it
Been scraping at my surface
Digging deeper inside looking for worth
Cuz way too long I been living without a purpose
Sundays ain't the same, now you rarely see me in churches
Its more that Im ashamed and less about praise and worship
I wish I could rehearse this, I'm tired of improvising
My whole life been criticized, I just twist it to fit inside
I been a victim of these times
Cuz the only time we choose to share our life is when it shines
We never see the signs
Staring at them timelines you would say we got it together
But on that same dime suicide is higher than ever
And in this last year I had thoughts of doing it too
But it was less about myself, I would never do that to you
Lost a brother and a sister, both succumb to the pistol
I learned it first hand all the damage that shit could do
And I wanna share my thoughts about these cards that I been handed
But I just keep em to myself cuz no one really understands it
Nowadays the internet got these people promoting slander
Then I realize, its not about what you say but how you brand it
My life is on a canvas, emotions on an easel
Told the world about my evils, seems like I done been the man since
And that to me is backwards
Cuz really I was crying out for help while yall were clappin
In every new direction tryna stretch me like elastic, I just flipped it like gymnastics
Inception while I nap, the world around me been collapsing
My lady almost left me
The moves I made had her head spinning, Dizzy Gillespie
And I'm the one to blame, I could ease the pain if you let me
Truth of the matter is I ain't been the same since you met me
Just tell me when you're ready and we can move on
I'm tired of fighting, feelings is too strong
Can't wait for the days of newborns, we'll both be singing a new song
I see you as a saint with traits of being the perfect wife
And its a shame cuz I ain't been so insecure in my whole life
But that ain't your fault
Back to my past is so far
Bad as an addict doped off love I'm an avid advocate
Actually mad it broke off
Color Me Badd this so called
Love that we have is so pure
And so passionate, its that same happiness that I hope for
With you, and we aint stopping till we get right
Careers are taking flight, our names are shining in them big lights
Its in sight, and this was all a preview so just sit tight
Was weighing on my heart, I just pray that all of it sits right