XX

I'm sorry that I've never quite seen things the way that you have
I'm sorry that I've searched for truth and demanded answers
Something which you can't provide
But I've come to realize that what we
have means more than what could be waiting
And all those godforsaken days that I've spent
questioning my beliefs were just nights wasted

Am I so wrong to question what can't be proved?
To wonder what's waiting for me when that day finally comes
When you've been told what to believe since birth
How can you create your own conclusions?
You believe because it's normal, because it's accepted
Because following and the pursuit of
acceptance is the norm that you've come to love
Questioning our minds isn't a sin of the heart
Closing off the doors and vessels to
expression and thought is where we lose ourselves
Trading one unanswered question for another
I know that I've grown cynical through the
years and that my elated thoughts have turned grey
And maybe someday I'll regret every
word that I've written in this phrase...

But at least I know I'm honest today

And you've been
Thinking

This life you lead
Is all you have

This place isn't what it used to be
I remember finding hope and love within these walls residing around me
Now it's just littered with the remnants of those who believed
Those who put their life and trust
into something they couldn't even see
Instead I choose to witness the beauty around me
In all of its glory
Rather than basing my life around a story alone
But yet what I hope for isn't what I believe
I'd like to accept that a man in the sky
could give me access to all of my hopes and desires
But this world and it's inhabitants have
cut off my hopes and ability to seek higher