02/24

I need some sleep
I feel weak
I'm 12 pills in my head's on ten and I don't really feel like me
The text I sent, to my girl it went
Saying, I don't really want life, I just wanna blow my gah damn brain to my feet"
Cause I feel I don't know you
Look at this pain I go through
This isn't how I should show you
I feel like it's my last move
I know you don't love me
I feel you did something
You chose that life over me
Out all night getting cups for free
This shits overwhelming
God my love needs helping
Without her I am not me
So I guess I'll pop these
I popped 12 so she called 12
The cops said that they could help
I told them I need to help myself
Then I sat and thought to myself

I've been going through some pain, I know that I needa change
I got this pain in my brain, I know that I'm not the same...

I've been going through some pain
I know that I needa change
I got this pain in my brain
I think I'm going insane
Everyday it feels like rain
When is it gonna change
Only got myself to blame
All these things are in my head
I can't even go to bed
I'm hurt bad I'm fucking sad
Everyday feels like the last
When is this pain gonna pass
I asked God to take me back
But I guess he turned his back
I've been going through this pain...

Ended up in Seton
Thinking what am I thinking
Shook hands with the doctor
He said,"you alright sir"
I said, "I don't really want life"
"All my life I've had to fight"
With this mental disease
It's deeper than deep
I suffer from depression anxiety
I wanna be me but I can't be me
Now my mom's up with no sleep
She said she's gonna switch flights
"I'm gonna come back tonight"
"Mom I swear I'm alright"
You and your sister are all I have so please...

I know it was selfish
I can't fucking help it
Lost my girl and Momma
Big sis off to College
Dad going off to Florida
All this shit is torture
All y'all my supporters

I've been going through some pain, I know that I needa change
I got this pain in my brain, I know that I'm not the same...

Momma it is not your fault
Baby it is not your fault
I'm the one that's in this vault
I'm the one who made those scars
I'm the one who made that call
To put those pills down in my jaw
I know that I'm not the same
This day is how I changed
Baby I am sorry
Momma I am sorry
Dad you know I'm sorry
Sunny yeah I'm sorry
TJ I am sorry
Malik you know I'm sorry
Ricky I am sorry
Jad you know I'm sorry
Jordan I am sorry
Jerico I am sorry
Baby I am sorry
Nacho I am sorry

I've been going through some pain, I know that I needa change
I got this pain in my brain, I know that I'm not the same...