The Mind of a Restless Soul

I'm scared... i'm restless

Go through this list of poetic devices, I'm made for more than this
They say I'm the nicest, but tell me which is which
My strengths or my vices, Im fightin through all this
Can't see through the highest
Trees
Dang. got hit with disease
Church, folk. don't act like they see
The dark side, called reality
I cried. and tear stained my sleeve
But they don't want me to say that
They askin me to take it back
It'll be a testimony one day...
But for now can you not say jack
I mean, really, we get that you struggle
I see, really, you are lackin muscle
But please, really keep that in a muzzle
Cause geez, really this faith ain't a puzzle
And I know already, that Jesus did die
But I'm still unsteady, when I shut my eyes
I'm still not ready
When I say goodbye
When I say goodnight
When I say alright
I'm not alright
I'm... hurt
I'm hurting
Have you ever felt daggers come out of your skin
Have you ever felt abandoned just from your own ken
Have you ever prayed all night felt like God didn't hear it
Then your homie said you fakin and it ate away your spirit
Have you ever been so weak
That you blacked out the from pain?
Have you ever fled slowly
Until nothing was the same?
Have you ever been led on
And it messed with your brain
If you ever answered yes to this then you and me the same
Self doubt kills me, but it can die with the serpent
This ain't the real me, you just more of a servant
God ain't givin you a stage, you don't deserve it
Rain rain won't you go away, you didn't earn it
Fear fear please don't come to stay, it ain't important
Muscular dystrophy on you is appointed
You is not anointed
You is mad annoyin
You can not ignore me
You can not afford it
Do you comprehend me?
You don't have appointment
You nothin without me
I make all your choices
Yo I'm fear
Can't sleep when I'm near
Yo I'm fear
And I'm tryna stay here
I'm gonna stay here...

My anxiety, anxiety is killin me

So... uh...

I need rest like restoration
I need peace, I need vacation
I need joy, I don't need Satan
Get off my snap girl you just fakin'

But like... I'm just... I don't know, I'm not confident in that one...