I Hide My Lies

I hide my lies inside me
I keep it to myself
I don't tell nobody
Just roll the dice
I been livin dangerous
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it

I been on edge lately
I'm wide awake but is hard to
Get up out of bed lately
I'm engaging
With temptation
And forbidden sensation
My whole life changed
When I met Jason
Been chasing dreams
More hungry and
Less patient
Renovated
Mental state it's
Ironic
That detonations
Everything that I fiend
Lately i put the dream
Before the ones on my team
I hope one day they really see what I mean
My phone buzzed from my best friend
He text me and said
"I'm free this weekend
Ayo my schedule is clear
We should link up
You know it's been a couple years
How's your mom doin?
It's sad I never get to see her"
Delete the text
We used to be the best
And seeing you after a while
Isn't really what I fear
But failures in the rear
Opportunity coming near
If I don't work for it right now
Then I think disappear
So Ill see you next year
Hate to sound insincere
But the roads always there
And still ain't ever clear
And the wheels given to me
And it's my time to steer
And If I do this for somebody
Ima do this for Zaire
Yeah

I hide my lies inside me
I keep it to myself
I don't tell nobody
Just roll the dice
I been livin dangerous
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it

I wrote that rhyme at like seventeen
A learning age
A time where I was
Questioning everything
I was in bad shape
And I believe that
Health is your wealth
And so I don't mess up yours
I just separate myself
And well
A year later after that text
Life had hit me
I look online and I found out
Why he was trynna hit me
Mom had pancreatic stage 4
Couldn't fight anymore
I went to my momma crying
She was cryin with me
She was like another mother
But I went and dubbed my brother
At times of struggle, you should
Run and lunge to love and comfort
I mean I couldn't change the outcome
Dog I'm only human
But a human could at least text
"How are you doin"
Found I'm misusin all my tools
Now I'm down I feel foolish
Thought round I can move with
Out a sound, but so
Loudly I muted
I was just looking for the world like
Alphabet soup, and
If I went and found it
I'd nearly drown
Where the fountain of youth is
To advance on what I used to know
Went from bow ties
Every weekend for a sweet 16
But only time I
Dress up now is when I go to
Someone's funeral
As I get older
All my people are too
I know
I always lack direction
I always lack to mention
That I lie to who I love
But that's only for protection
The truth will free me, but
Im scared I won't get your acceptance
But what's dark, comes
Into light
So soon, I might just
Learn my lesson
But for now

I hide my lies inside me
I keep it to myself
I don't tell nobody
Just roll the dice
I been livin dangerous
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it
I made a promise to myself and
I can't change it



Credits
Writer(s): Zaire Cone
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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