Losing It

This one's a little darker
Yeah

I don't have no one to come home to
I don't have no one to count on
I don't have anyone to call my own
Nobody that I can fall down on
I don't have, I don't have, I don't have no one
Book a show, get the bag, happy till it's all done
Come back to the city get reminded that I'm alone
What do I lack that I don't stand out to no one?
What do I don't have that they have? I have plenty
All the shit that I get in return I'm still so empty
Thought I'd be the happiest when I signed up with Fenty
Going through a midlife crisis in my twenties
Going out to Nobu by myself ain't satisfyin'
Tired of the pain, and the hurt, and the cryin'
I know I'm a man I should start actin' like one
Trust me when I tell you and I promise you I'm tryin'
All this "you're Houdini" shit they give me I ain't buyin'
All these fucking memories they killin' me I'm dyin'
Hurry just hurry
'Cause I got to get to my goal before thirty
And I got some people that's dependin' on me
But how do I work when you play me so dirty
And why can't we just accept me bein' perfect
I'm lyin' I'm not girl infact I'm the furthest
I'm made from a different cloth than every person
I promise I'm workin', I promise I'm worth it
I promise I'm okay even though I'm hurtin'
I know just how much you see and you're lurkin'
I know that it bothers people I work with
I know they care for my health but it worsens
Maybe I just need another shisha but much stronger
I don't know the time that's tickin', I know I don't have much longer
And my soul is out my body and these days that thing just wanders
When I die and in my casket throw that shit under the water
Let it sink with all the pain this world done gave me for the longest
I got like 3 different hitters posted up like I'm in congress
Shit, I had a lot of dreams of wifin' you I'm bein' honest
And my blood is boilin' hot like a hot summer day in august
Shit
Am I losin' it
Am I losin' it oh, oh
Am I losin' it
Am I losin' it oh, oh