Sobbin' Women

Tell ya 'bout them sobbin' women
Who lived in the Roman days
It seems that they all went swimmin'
While their men was off to graze

Well, a Roman troop was ridin' by
And saw them in their me-oh-my
So they took 'em all back home to dry
'Least that's what Plutarch says!

Oh yes, them a women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin', fit to be tied
Every muscle was throbbin', throbbin' from that riotous ride
Seems they cried and kissed and kissed and cried
All over that Roman countryside
So don't forget that when you're takin' a bride!
Sobbin' fit to be tied
From that riotous ride!

They never did return their plunder
The victor gets all the loot
They carried 'em home by thunder to rotundas small, but cute
And you've never seen, so they tell me, such downright domesticity
With a Roman baby on each knee named "Claudius" and "Brute"

Oh, yes! Them a women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin' passin' them nights
While the Romans was goin' out hobnobbing, startin' up fights
They kept occupied by sewin' lots of little old togas for them tots
And sayin', "Someday, women folks'll have rights!"
(Passin' all of their nights) Just sewin'!
(While the Romans had fights)

Now, when the men folk went to fetch 'em
The women would not be fetched
It seems when the Romans catch 'em
Their lady friends stay catched!

Right! Now let this be, because it's true
A lesson to the likes of you
Rough 'em up like them their Romans do
Or else they'll think you're tetched

Oh, yes! Them a women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin' buckets of tears (oh, mighty sad!)
On account of old dobbin', dobbin' really rattled their ears (and that ain't all!)
Oh, they acted angry and annoyed (but secretly they was overjoyed!)
You might recall that when corralin' your steers!
(Oh, oh, oh, them poor little dears!)

Oh, yes! Them a women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin', weepin' a ton (oh yes, them sobbin' women!)
Just remember what Robin, Robin, Robin Hood woulda done (yes, them sobbin' women!)
We'll be just like them three merry men (oh yes)
And make 'em all merry once again (them sobbin' women!)

And though they'll be a-sobbin' for a while (oh, yes!)
We're gonna make them sobbin' women smile!