October

I been thinking a lot
I been consumed in my thoughts
Assumin' you be true, this isn't you, I want you to stop
I drop down to my knees, beggin' you and I plead
Please don't leave, I need you just someone to call
I always fall and when I do you tell me I'll be alright
I fight wars in my head, voices makin' my choices
My choice is clear, I want you here, my fear is scared of you
Impaired, the view ahead is somethin' dead
You said I'd never be alone
And so I stare at my phone
Hopin' I can open somethin', but it's nothin'
Only take a second, just send a message
Just let it be, I need a sign, a piece
Remindin' me the times that we were happy
But it can't be, and I feel it's real, the deal is sealed
I'm goin' through emotion, knowing you ain't got devotion
In denial for a while, I just pile up my stress, I guess I
Put that on you, but that doesn't mean I didn't mean a thing
I loved you more than I've ever loved anything

Last night I was at your place
Past times, I feel safe
But this time it was different
I can see that you're switchin'
I can see that I'm losin' you
But what I do, ain't gotta choice
I'm feeling different but cut the noise
I hear a difference in your voice
I don't think that we're both the same
Things change and rearrange
Time has a funny way
Of makin' people just fade away
Five years and I wouldn't guess
I'd be here, I'm just a mess
Don't shed tears, I'll see you again
Won't disappear, this isn't the end
I been dreamin' bout a paradise in your eyes
But love is just to roll a pair of dice, win a prize
It's expensive when you get it, can I pay the price
Or will I lose it, hold it in my hands and watch it die
I'm meant to be alone, that's a pill to swallow
At this point I don't know if I'll make it 'til tomorrow
When I had to let you go, it was full of sorrow
Out of nowhere, didn't know, to this day I'm hollow
I want you to know, I'll never talk behind your back
A piece of you is stayin' with me, and that's a fact
I know everything about you, I'll be exact
I'm tryna make it without you, I put up an act
Fake smiles like a pro, I'm sick of this
I'm only broken on the low, no fixin' this
Shove it deep, 'cause I know we'll never talk again
It's just crazy to me, this is how we end
It's dramatic, the lights camera action go
Wake me up, I don't wanna be here anymore
I see the sun another day, where's the girl I know
Is this real, I don't know, searchin' for a ghost
Love you the most, I meant it every time I said it
That's how it goes, you love it then you'll never get it
Take me back to the time we didn't have a struggle
When I wasn't searchin' for myself inside the rubble