John's Lament

Five years ago, I bought a cat
To keep me company and that
Wasn't enough so I bought a dog

Now in this house that's full of pets
Pill bottles, vodka, and regrets
I still sit around and slap my hog

Why can't the hole ever be filled
Not even with illegal pills
Cheap gin and whiskey, worthless stuff

And now the best thing that was in my world
My lover Lizz, my golden girl
She tells me that I'm just not good enough

She thinks that I'm a nut
Well Lizz, you know what?

It's time, the world will come and see
That I'm John Arbuckle and you will all remember me
I'll be the man they can't ignore
Put up with this too long, and I won't take shit anymore

You can't hold me down if I put you in the ground

It's just the pills saying this now
I've got to get a grip somehow
"Side effects include fits of rage"

This rush that's soaring through my veins
I can't describe, I can't explain
Someone should lock me in a cage

Twenty four years ago when I was six
My parents got me a therapist
For all my violent tendencies

Twenty years ago when I was ten
They got me a therapist again
For killing our dog, Eloise

Carving canines with my knife
How did I lose that lust for life?

It's time, the world will come and see
That I'm John Arbuckle and you all will remember me
It's time that I start fighting back
You better look out assholes, I'm plotting my first attack

You can't hold me down if I put you in the ground

"John, this is your doctor, your mental health has lost control."
"John, this is the police, and murder violates parole."
"John, this is your mother, and murder is a big no-no."
"John, this is Charles Manson, and murder is sooo worth it, bro."

Thought I could make it through this life
Settle down with my pets, three children, and a caring wife
I guess that love's just not for me
But I can't fake a life of forced complacent normalcy

I wonder if I kill, will the hole inside be filled?