Catchin' Up (Pops)

What up pops it's been a minute
Since you ain't been living shit been weird and different
Moms still grieving that'll never change
Her eyes is like St. Louis weather let me explain
One minute they sunny then randomly they rain
She try to hide the pain whenever she hear ya name
Justin ain't been the same
But he never complains just keep to himself more it's hard to pick his brain
And me? It ain't a day that you don't cross my mind
We on borrowed time I wish you would've borrowed more time
Just so I could've hung with you more and hug you some more
But most importantly just to say I love you some more
I seen you beat two strokes and some more shit
So when you fought cancer I knew you wouldn't forfeit
When you broke the news they just cried and kept crying
I'm in denial in my mind I said in time you'll be fine
Walking round like everything was peaches an sweet
When the docs said you'd die in a year or a week
Maybe that was my only way to keep me from grief
Plus the fact that I ain't see you weep around me
Not a drop you took that disease like a G
Joking before you coughed and then smiled cheek to cheek
So Although stage 4 cancer was severe
I tried to convince myself that you was in the clear
Damn

Its been a rough year, mom stress going up and down
Bills floating up to her neck but I won't let her drown
I've been low-key depressed when this month come around
I never knew that a death a be this troubled, frowns
Been permanent my grins they done end
Ya death showed me that some of ya friends ain't ya friends
Family just a word, with some I cut loose ties
We can't even stick together after the glues dried
So much I wanna say too you in two rhymes
But one song ain't enough for it, in due time
I wanna thank you for the men that you raised
Wasn't perfect but no other man can fill you place
I remember when you put the gloves on with my brother
And beat hiss but cried afterwards and said I love ya
And you'd die or fight em before you Let em become
A hoodlum or a bum cuz he deserved a better outcome
Fuck a job they don't appreciate worth
Couldn't even die in peace still had to get up for work
Cuz you would stress about bills til I said chill
Remember when yo pops died? Thats how I feel
But worse cuz you was more involved in my life
And everything they said about you was far from hyped
Because you cared for ya people, looked at them as equals
A father figure to kids who wasn't even ya sequels
My number one fan, my right hand man
I told my problems too you cuz you'd understand
Manned up to ya faults never turned from em
And all the wrongs you ain't right I learned from em
Shout out to ya Kappas and employees st
They checked on us more than ya fam and homies did
Damn its hard to live without ya
Even with Alzheimers I'd never forget about ya
I promise I'm a tell my kids about ya
Before you died you told me I'll make it big I got ya
And though you won't be hear to dig it
Some way somewhere you'll witness in spirit I love you