49 North

Take a breath before you jump off the cliff
Dive in emotions you been holding since you left out the crib
College ending all your friends is graduating and shit
Couldn't finish 3 classes so you can't walk with them
It makes no sense to do it later I wasn't tailored for school
It was either go back and finish or summer classes n move
I chose the later hoping it help me climb the later of financial status
Cuz where I came from was scattered
With broken homes and shattered
Dreams of all these niggas that wanted to do something but never found them the power
So they stuck up in they mama house, I wasnt on that
And niggas in the city was dying I wasn't going back
With this mounted pressure my efforts doubled to slow that
Moved down south where they talk n drive slow at
Shawn offered a job I had to go where the dough at
Even jumped the broom before I jumped into the Music
For real

Still give me chills
I was scared of the future the unknown

5 Years later I need the paper
Got a wife n a daughter gotta sustain em
Nate told me when niggas live around whites it start to change em
Got me hiding my trash n wanting to buy some acres
Secluded from the world and it's all it's issues
Like you can make the world problems start to miss you
We too afraid to embrace the tragic
Avoid the balance my pain is silenced in hopes that you feel ok whenever you hang around us
Does god fear the hurt around us
Is he afraid too afraid to see the pain to pull out the diamond if it's dirt around us
I need a break from church's culture
Cuz this bolder on my shoulder still here n it's not post to n my fears are a lot closer
What if I told you this my lowest
All this shit inside and all I want is to expose it
My wife told me she don't know me my family might disown me
My job might just throw me this road Feel so lonely
I gotta let this fear go inside it's my life can't no one walk my my line

Who are you

What does mean?

Closing thoughts to heal the whole in my heart
I was just trying to cope shit I was raised in the dark
Fell into women sinning knew that would be my ending
Niggas got some vices I like it no use pretending
Though the church taught me well and I ain't here to say that I bid it a farewell or I'm ready to go hell
Only that I'm finally ready for me to fail and I don't mind if you see it
The picture perfect life that I had no trying to keep it
I rather you know my secrets
I'd rather you have the choice to choose
Rather than keep up something that isn't true
These the thoughts I let rule use to think lies can change me but the truth can too
Just venting