Cowboy Bacon

One day I was sitting at the saloon
With a few of my proud overweight goons
I was eating a cheeseburger with a side of fries
When I realized something just wasn't right
In the Wild West a burger would taste better than this
That missing taste is one none of you can miss
It's irresistible and captivating to eat a pile
Of joy and love underneath the buns; I smile

Thanks to whomever Cowboy Bacon is long gone
I need it to come back to me before too long
If not I'm going to get so mad and so insane
The crisp and the taste needs to heal my pain

Still no sign of my precious Cowboy Bacon anywhere
Whomever took it off the damn menu has a big pair
Because I'll duel his ass until he hits the cold ground
Then maybe the savior I need can be called back to town

Thanks to whomever Cowboy Bacon is long gone
I need it to come back to me before too long
If not I'm going to get so mad and so insane
The crisp and the taste needs to heal my pain

I cried all night when I finally got into my bed
That's why my cheeks have always been red
I dread the thought of not having any bacon
That's why that outlaw got my heart to aching

Thanks to whomever Cowboy Bacon is long gone
I need it to come back to me before too long
If not I'm going to get so mad and so insane
The crisp and the taste needs to heal my pain