Red Eye Flashes Twice

This is a song for every person in the world...

Everybody's trying to get their picture looking nice,
But they act like a camera is some foreign device,
I've got somethin' to ask you and I'll keep it concise,
WHAT ARE YOU STUPID!
Red eye flashes twice!

I was trying to snap a picture of my buddies, Bill and Bryce,
Bill takes lots of pictures,
so he gave me some advice,
He moved before the second flash,
"photographer" yeah right!
WHAT ARE YOU STUPID, BILL!
Red eye flashes twice!

All your friends will hate your guts
if you don't stand still,
Your family will disown your butt
and probably have you killed,
If you have a girlfriend,
which we all know you don't,
But if you do she'll leave you,
and then you de-fin-ite-ly won't...
Have a girlfriend...

The famous person in this picture wasn't very nice,
I just wanted his picture,
and his pizza slice,
With just one flash he walked away as if I had head lice,
WHAT ARE YOU STUPID!
Heh... I've seen all your movies twice

All your friends will hate your guts
if you don't stand still,
Your family will disown your butt
and probably have you killed,
If you have a girlfriend,
which we all know you don't,
But if you do she'll leave you,
and then you de-fin-ite-ly won't...

See it's much easier to just assume
that the flash is gonna go two times
and to just wait there for a second,
rather than move and risk all these people in your life
hating you forever and wanting you dead,
because every time they look at their picture,
they don't see the picture,
they see, "Oh, there's 'So-and-So'.
He ruined my picture
IN FRONT OF THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT.
I FREAKIN' HATE THAT GUY!"

All your friends will hate your guts if you don't stand still,
Your family will disown your butt and probably have you killed,
If you have a girlfriend,
which we all know you don't,
But if you do she'll leave you,
and then you de-fin-ite-ly won't...
You'll be single, for the rest of your life.
And you won't have any pictures of yourself either...