Saint Peter and the Snow

I'm sitting on the couch
And she tries her best
To make me see all these things
That I recently forgot
The things I do
The things I managed to do
And how in the end
Everything seems to work out
Eventually

And through all this time I felt you
Inside my head
How you sang of love and promise
Lying in bed smiling
And all the words that gild you
I hope you keep them save
I won't take them back

After years and months
I'm left with little to no idea
About how we got each other
So profoundly wrong
I won't be a better person or lover
After these days in the snow

Just increasingly growing disconnected
To myself, to family to friends
To what I wish to be
I'm just watching while myself
Is slowing slipping through my fingers

Did your honor really stay
Or were you able to make a change
All the best now to you
I'm so sorry I didn't stay
Couldn't stay

I'm not lying down in bruises
I stray around
Having stones inside my stomach
They keep me down
But I won't let you cut me open
And take them out yourself
These stones are anchors now