Opening Number

The night is falling on Manhattan
And soon the daylight will be gone
Anticipation's all around you
As one by one the lights are coming on

And your feet wanna fly
And your pulse wants to raise
'Cause your free and you're young
And you're in the right place

You're right here
You're right now
You're a part of New York
As the night comes alive
In the heart of New York

Nothing more exciting
Nowhere more delicious
Everything's inviting
Everything's the best
Every soul is soaring
Everyone's ambitious
No one here is boring
Nothing in the world
Is like the feeling

The feeling that
Anything is possible here
Even the impossible
Is possibly possible in

New York

You dream when you're awake
Any dream can be
A dream come true in

New York

Underneath this city that is all pavement
Is a city that's all heart
God, this is exciting
Don't you feel giddy
Man, there is nothing like it
Boy, this is the best
Stop
Now your light is shining
Stop
Wow, this is a city
Stop
Stop
Ron
Ron
Ron
Stop
Ron
Alright everybody
Let's all stop the rehearsal again
Because, because Mitchell has
Another compelling question

It's Michael, Dorsey
And would my character say
"The city is all heart"?
He is a traumatized war vet
Evicted from his rent-controlled apartment
During the sewage-baked heat of summer
All heart? I don't think so

Where in the history of the printed Libretto
Does it say any of that?

It's the back story I gave him

Backstory?
He, he doesn't even have a name
He's "Guy who walks by"

My character deserves his truth
I am just saying what every
Other actor on this stage
Is thinking

Lovey, this is a Ron Carlisle show, my vision,
me creating a living aggregate out of the imagination of nothing
You want out?
You're out

Of the whole song?

Ha, of the whole show
Of any show I ever do
In the pantheon of ever
And then even after that
After that

This opening number is benign and dishonest
Directed by an inept, derivative hack
And this musical
Sucks

This is the tale of Michael Dorsey
He is the center of the plot
Is he an actor?
Yes, of course, he is
Is he successful?
Yes, of course, he's not

That doesn't mean he isn't real good
No one in town would disagree
He really could be good as Gielgud
But you won't see his name on the marquee

Carla, I threw it all away for you
Just to cross that bridge, Carla
That damn grey bridge

That's fine Mr. Dorsey
We're looking for someone younger

Oh, I can be younger

Actually, We're looking for someone shorter

Oh wait
See, I can be shorter

Actually, were looking for somebody different

Sounds to me like you don't know
What the hell you're looking for

We're looking for somebody else
Get out!

And now there is something quite familiar
He feels it rising like the moon
He's feeling victimized and bitter
Like nothing good is gonna happen soon
The odor of humiliation
Begins to permeate the room
The putrid stench of it surrounds him like
An inexpensive prostitute's perfume

Mommy, daddy, come quick
Something's wrong with Biscuit
He was chasing his tail
And then he fell down the well

That's good, but can you do it happier?

Happier?
The kid's dog just plunged down a well to its death
Why would he be happy?

'Cuz Im the director
And that's how the playwright wrote it

Then tell the playwright he's wrong

I'm also the playwright
Get out!

And his feet start to throb
And his head starts to ache
As he can't get a job
And he can't catch a break

But he's free
And he's young

He's not young

Yeah, that's true

[?] on to someone
Who's exactly not you!

Someone more exciting
Someone more attractive
Someone they can deal with
Not a snotty jerk
They need someone nicer
Someone less reactive
Can you really blame them?
Will he ever work?

Get out!

Wow, he's batting zero
Dude, he's so pathetic
How does he keep going
Maybe he should stop
No! It's gonna happen
Soon they'll all be clapping
Soon he's gonna make it
He's gonna make it to the top
He's gonna make it to the top
He's gonna make it to the

No more orders
Kitchen's closed!

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