Empty Bottles/April 20th

Barely a dollar to my name
Lint up in my pocket
Pint to ease the pain, was the only way to stop it
4th quarter stressin'
I'm runnin' low on options
Presented, while I pray the IRS don't need deposits
'Cause if they do
I know they comin' for me, guaranteed
That empty bottle and stereo system, all I need
With my son CD playin' in the deck
When you my make it my nigga
I'ma be layin' in the Bach, gettin' head in my dream car
Now if you tell the truest stories
They'll know who we are
I know it seem far, but
You made a promise that our name'll never die
Let that resonate within you
When you look into the sky
Knowin' if I was to die today
I'll be a happy man, knowin' that you on your way
I never thought I'll see the day
When you would go and turn my life into a classic
For now, I'm pourin' up to try to make it

Empty bottles comin' after my soul
The devil tryna take what I own
Givin' all I can, and I can't take it more
Got me feelin' empty like this bottle I'm on
Dark clouds, comin' over my brain
Pourin' liquor, tryna ease that pain
Mix it with holy water, just to keep me alive
I take a sip to get me closer to God

Get me closer to God

Look, if I don't make it there to tell my story personally
Make sure you tell it for me
Even if it's the worst of me
You know me better than anyone on this planet
So if nobody else does
I know you'll understand it
I know you had some questions in the past that wasn't answered
You was too young for me to tell you
And you understand 'em
Everything was perfect, but my ego wanted more
That's why it kills me to this day
To think about before
Of all the times
When she was cryin' up in that bed
Gettin' used to loneliness
'Cause I was out instead, of bein' home
Tryna be the man that she envisioned
While provin' that your Papa wasn't right
'Bout our decision
I'm more than just a black man
More than just a father
It's more than payin' child support
To show him that I got him
In my early days, I could afford to do it right
But when I lost Hope
I lost the hope in my life
Now I'm back to that first step
Been tryna stack my money up
And get my feet back under me, just like a door step
Exposin' all my flaws, while the world judge me
But I need you to know the truth
No matter what you thinkin' of me
I could've been a better husband
Could've been a better father
Could've put away my pride
But I couldn't even bother
Puttin' y'all through that again
Livin' in a world of sin
Now I'm to that point of no return, closer to the end
Granddaddy in Heaven
While I'm closer to hell
But when a man is at his lowest
That's when he prevails
I tried to show you well
But every time, I looked into your eyes
I was in a war with myself
Fallin' victim, to the dangers
Of my daily routine
Drownin' sorrows in a bottle
Didn't mean to intervene
You said when you was 16
That this'll take my life

Just know, I went the way I wanted to
And that's alright

(Shit)
(Fuck is goin' on?)

I won't let the past haunt me
Thinkin' 'bout before I ever thought of heaven
I need a ticket
Now what it cost me?
I'll give whatever's in my pocket
Down to the lint, if you promise
I'll make it to where you lay your head
Now I'm lyin' on this bed
In dyer need of a breath
You lyin' nigga, I can't be dead
I'm his father that you tryna take
Up to what's called a better place
I hope it's like what you explain
He startin' to question everything
Show him that he wrong
This the time you show him that you real
Was never atheist
But questioned, your dedication
To makin' him feel the comfort
That he should feel
In a world that felt so perfect

Before reality surfaced
On April 20, I lost my life
I'll give you another present
Just make sure I'm in his presence, from here

I won't let the past haunt me
Thinkin' 'bout before I ever thought of heaven
He need a ticket
Now what it cost me?
I'll give whatever's in my pocket
Down to the lint, if you promise
He'll make it to where you lay your head
Now he lyin' on this bed
In dyer need of a breath
You lyin' nigga, he can't be dead
That's my father that you tryna take
Up to what's called a better place
I hope it's like what you explain
I'm startin' to question everything
Show me that I'm wrong
This the time you show me that you real
Was never atheist
But questioned, your dedication
To makin' me feel the comfort
That I should feel

In a world that felt so perfect
Before reality surfaced
On April 20, I lost my will
I'm jealous that you gained another present
Without his presence, it's hard to move on

I wonder if he felt me walkin' out the room?
Did he know I said my final word?
When I told him, that I'm stayin'
"Just don't worry Dad, I'll be back soon"
Did he know I'm lyin' just to make him feel comfortable
When you finally gotta tell him
That it's time to move?
They started takin' that support away
And closed the curtain
Now, it's more than certain there's no miracles
While his life slowly slippin'
The hands grippin'
From sisters and lovers
And now he turnin' blue
I'm waitin' out in the lobby
With my stomach turnin'
Feelin' guilty, I should be in there with you
But I couldn't stand to see you like that
("Wait, why they walkin' back?")
At that very moment
I knew I had to accept it
They opened up the door
Now a name is what I'm left with
To carry it forever
And further than where he laid
From here, you'll live within me
Through that promise that we made, on April 20th