Unbelief

Lord Jesus help my unbelief
I know you love me but my heart is set on other things
Know I'm supposed to count blessing and have feelings slowly I'm numbin off
Being numb isn't normal it's slowly become a norm
Most days I rack my brain tryna figure out how God moves
How am I supposed to be like you when I live like I don't like you
I don't know why I try to act like I really follow
When People who don't believe can act godlier than I do
My spirit is thirsting but I feel fed up with worship
Feel I'm just repeating lyrics and not set on the person
Feeling empty and instead of searching for edible verses
In your Word I prefer to let depression usurp me
It's like is heaven for certain cause the devil is lurking
Trying to steal the faith I got left as my condition has worsened
Crazy I used to sense I was destined for purpose
When did I become a shell of a person

Lord Jesus Help my Unbelief
I'm in this storm worn out shaking like a leaf
I know you say you always love me but to what degree
Cause it seems like all you do is put me under heat
Maybe it ain't you and it's really me
Cause I been stubborn I been runnin now I'm on my knees
Acknowledging you're everything I know I'll ever need
So if I open up my heart would you scrub it clean?

It's what I need

Due to recent events bruh I'm single again
I been meaning to tell you that I need to repent
To you for bringing you into a mess that needed cleaning
Still had some evil within and was leaning on sin
Was so out of God's timing when I think and reflect
Couldn't be the king that you need I needed healing within
And still pray for the days I would see you again
But I don't want to be a reason that you breaching with Him
But I gotta love myself first and release from this pen
I want folks to love me so much that I feel the need to pretend
Plus I been sowing seeds of sin and I reap once again
So maybe my faith is lacking cause I'm leaking within
These insecurities make me uneasy and tense
And I still need to confess cause it's so key to admit

The only time I'll be free is when cling to His hand
And only be picture perfect is when I see through His lens

Lord Jesus Help my Unbelief
I'm in this storm worn out shaking like a leaf
I know you say you always love me but to what degree
Cause it seems like all you do is put me under heat
Maybe it ain't you and it's all cuz of me
I been stubborn I been runnin now I'm on my knees

Acknowledging your everything I know I'll ever need
So if I open up my heart would you scrub it clean?
It's what I need

Straddling the fence and all I feel now is regret
Tired of being depressed Jesus I need your deep rest
Show that your way of life's the only way to live
And things will keep being makeshift until I make this shift
And God, I know my heart is wicked I can tell by all the pride that's in it
Cause whenever I start ascending I get condescending
Foolishly do this I can't stand what I see
It's like I know how much you really love me I'm just scared to receive it
I fear the unknown and being fully known by you
That means being vulnerable and letting so close that you can hurt me
So unworthy of your grace and your mercy
You give it freely but I treat it has no value
God take my life out of my hands man I'm mishandling everything
Take all of the sin and pride and let me rest in your blessed peace
And give my life back rid the shame of my past as I trade this white flag for your banner of victory
Only if you help my Unbelief
I'm in this storm worn out shaking like a leaf
I know you say you always love me but to what degree
Cause it seems like all you do is put me under heat
And I know that it ain't you cause it's really me
I been stubborn I been runnin now I'm on my knees
Acknowledging your everything I know I'll ever need
So now I'll open up my heart so you can scrub it clean
It's what I need