Alberta

Alberta, Alberta skipped out in mid dance
I'd sure hurt Alberta if I just had the chance
Spent years of my lifetime to save up that dough
So if I see Alberta, I'll kill her for sure

Oh conniving Alberta, she sure could deceive
If I saw her hanging I'd sure be relieved
The broke men all scroungin' by the riverside
They all danced with Alberta, got took for a ride

And we won't see her again, as she speeds off 'round the bend
But I know it's just a mouth to feed
And I know there's a place for me down by the riverside

One bright day down in town I was panhandlin' 'round
Her necklace was pearl and her trusting eyes brown
I washed off my face and buttoned my shirt
Remembered everything Alberta did that had worked

I asked her to dinner and dancing, scrounged nickels to pay
Made love to her strong, trusted more every day
I got safe codes and PINs, she was out with the girls
I cleaned out her savings and all of her pearls

And she won't see me again, as I speed off 'round the bend
And I know just how much it hurts
But I know there's a place for her down by the riverside

Her Mercedes made good time to Mexicali
The saloon doors swung open and who do I see?
Alberta mid-dance with a bottle of rum
Waltzed up to her kindly, "Would you care to share some?"

And they won't see us again as we dance around the bend
Yes I know I'm a hypocrite
But you know, sure don't give a shit if they're by the riverside
Well this love's a dirty game we play
Think it's yours, gone the very next day
Down by the riverside
Down by the riverside
Down by the riverside
Down by the riverside