This Ain't Me

There's a feeling I get
When the kids are in bed
And I'm choosing to sleep alone
It's not like regret
And we're not done yet
But there's a knot in my heart, every time I come home

And it turns me into something
I don't want to be becoming
Grinds my spirit just like stone
In dreams I'm twisting, running
Trying to find my way to the someone
The someone I used to be
Cause this ain't me

I don't know what's next
There's been so much stress
Somehow I manage to stay
It's subtle I guess
A simple caress
And the thoughts I've been thinking go away

But I'm turning into something
I don't wanna be becoming
Grinds my spirit 'til it yields
In dreams I'm twisting, running
Trying to find my way to the someone
The someone I used to be
Cause this ain't me, this ain't me

This ain't the man who laughs easily
This ain't the man who smiles patiently
This ain't the man who got down on one knee
Promised to love tenderly
When he said marry me, this ain't the man I wanna be

And I don't know if I
Can still find that guy
It's been years since I felt he was here
But dammit I'll try
Or get out of this lie
I won't let my spirit disappear

Cause I don't like the something
I've slowly been becoming
Grinds my spirit 'til it bleeds
In dreams I'm twisting, running
Got to find my way to the someone
The someone I used to be
Cause this ain't me
This ain't me
This ain't me