He's Your Uncle Not Your Dad

He's your uncle, not your dad
He's the best friend you ever had
So, come on, dig, dig, dig in until it hurts
Just remember Pearl Harbor
(The Alamo and nothing could be worse)

He's your favorite (mmm) relative (mmm)
And he needs a (mmm) lot to live
So just bring, bring, bring everything until you bleed
(And he'll send back what he don't need)

If you're not in form, ten-forty's your salvation
By deprivation of temptation
(Dark and blondes, I hear are not deductible)
Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me?

When he calls you (mmm) as he may do (mmm)
Don't be frightened (mmm), red, white and blue
Just be thankful you don't live in Leningrad
He's your uncle, not your dad

If you're honest, you don't have to shake and shiver
The food is lousy up the river
(It's give and take, and he does all the taking)
Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me?

Life has two things (mmm) you can't subtract (mmm)
(Death and taxes (mmm) to be exact)
So just pa-pa-patriotically declare
He's your uncle, he's your uncle, not your dad