Killing Me

I don't think you comprehend
The way you make me feel so dead
And void and helpless
Like everything good is gone

And I don't think you want to know
Just how deep the sadness goes
You'd rather I hide it away
And never let it show

So you just choose to confine
Me to a role that is not mine
Like I'm a girl - no - a boy - no
A toy for you to play your little games with

And you - you know that it's not right
But better this than to jeopardize
Your jobs and to fight for the life of
Some little freak who can't make up his mind

But how much pain is enough to make you see
That what you're doing is killing me

And if I try to speak my mind
It is the greatest sacrifice
Cause then I lose and you use
My own thoughts and words against me

Is it too much to ask that you
Just let me use the goddamn bathroom
Of my choosing feels like I'm losing
Parts of myself everyday

My dignity has been degraded
Everyday so humiliated
And I just take it
Even when the preachers think I fake it

And yes I do - I have a name
I told you this is not a game
For you to play with everyday
Deciding which pronouns you will say

But how much pain is enough to make you see
That what you're doing is killing me

I just wanted to be myself
Now I live for somebody else
Always asking why am I still here?
Prisoner or pioneer?

But we must fight for the children they don't see
Who dream each night of breaking free

And I'd help them if I could
But i just don't know the way
I heard once don't try to change the world
Just find the good in every day
And open your heart
Practice mind over matter
And you will learn the ways of the world around you
And be yourself
Be yourself

And at the end when you go it won't matter what
Anybody else tried to kill you for

And what was it all for?
Your life will be so much more