Don't Park up My Drive

You don't ask why before you do anything
You always do what you want
Now how you gonna get through life
If you just constantly act like a cunt

The neighbours round here are almost constantly bitching
Net curtains up and down the street are regularly twitching cos of me
What have you got to say, for yourself, for yourself?

Please don't park up my drive
I'm asking you nicely so there's a chance you'll survive

Your mother came home from the shops and she was
Unequivocally not herself
She took a tin of spam and then just casually placed it
On the vinegar shelf

The customers around her, they were all up in arms
The store manager was screaming and set off all the alarms
Yes it was memorable
What have you got to say for yourself, for yourself?

Please don't park up my drive
You see I'm asking you nicely so there's a chance you'll survive

What has she got that I haven't got?
What has she got?
What has he got that I haven't got?
What has he got?
(ooh)
(ooh)
(ooh)
And all the ladies say
What has he got that I haven't got?
What has he got?

All the boys say
What has he got that I haven't got
What has he got?

Please don't park up my drive
You see I'm asking you nicely so there's a chance you'll survive

The woman in the post office was filling me in
(what has he got that I haven't got?)
About some Eastern Europeans that have
Moved into Number 3 (what has she got?)
I wish that all these foreigners would just go away
(what has he got that I haven't got?)
Except the ones that'll be doing my cholecystectomy
(what has she got?)