Confessions (Intro)

This some shit that I'd probably never release
But my demons been getting stronger and turning to me to a beast
There's so much shit up on my mind it's time talk to about it
And it's been eating at my conscious, so a nigga gotta talk about it
Cops done took my pops,and took a piece right out my life
7 years that he been gone still feel the void every night
It's like I ready know the truth but I'm afraid to hear the answers
I keep calling to the lord but he don't ever wanna answer
Situation kinda hard to comprehend.
It's like misery a friend and tbh Idk where to begin
Most days I smoke my weed and handle business
Then depression hit again and I notice that I'm blowing with the wind
I just wanna know like will it ever end
You see a smile but deep inside
This shit done made me who I am
Lord forgive me I'm just living in a world full of sin
Got this fire in my heart that'll probably burn up ya skin

The devil talking to me, aiming at my soul too much
I'm like will it hurt me more if I know too much
But my mind always racing
Can't escape it
So the weed help me pace it
When they ask me why I smoke so much

I met somebody who took away all the pain for me
If it's ride or die then I thought she would be the same for me
Told her bout my past, then she told me that she got me. Then she went and did the same
Only for her to go turn around and really go let it rain on me

And now I'm crashing out of paradise
A fallen angel
Painting a picture so you could see it in different angles
If I can't even save myself then how I'm gon save you
But in my heart yeah I still know I wasn't wrong baby

So I Just gotta make due with the fact you ain't around
Thought it'd be better - I'm hoping the lord'll save me now
But ima soldier ain't no quitting you can't take me down
Writing my story
I can't let these hoes play me now

My mind bright but it's surrounded by the dark
Touchy subject when I'm talking it'll reopen my scars
I think I need it though

This shit been hurting I can't let nobody see it though
The Pain left me heartless I don't need that hoe

And they say time heals
But that's a fucking lie
Cause all I seem to think about is how my brodie died still

Overcoming all of the challenges
And balancing the weight up on my shoulders
Every night I pray I Shine still

And only god can judge
Feeling abandoned since a younging
So when they tell me they leaving ion even budge
Mama did her best, but I feel numb when I be high
This shit done left me traumatized, so I turned to them drugs

This a life I never planned for
It brought me down to my knees
Back on my feet, gotta show em all what I stand
For
If you was never there
Then don't be acting like you care
See you lying through ya teeth
Shorty tell me why you here for

Closed off like a bottle, time to open up
Heard the game need some help tell em open up
Just show me love I don't need you trying controlling us
Right back in misery when i finally sober up

If you gon judge me lil homie make sure you know enough
Yeah I be hurting but guarantee ain't no hoe in us
One day I'll hit the top, and they gon love me when I'm hot
Nonstop. Promise mama they gon know it's us