How I Feel

A cold world we're living in, it's like we've gone mad
I'd do anything to trade it all for the things I used to have
Sometimes I ask myself, "is this even real"
On the outside you see me smile, but you don't know how I feel
Ooh-ooh, ohh-mm-mm-mm
No-no-no-no, no-mm

I feel so stuck, paralyzed, watchin' the world go 'round me
While I'm steadily hurtin', I'm searchin', yeah but I still ain't found me
Can't fuckin' breathe 'cause I'm down so deep and it feels I can't get out
Y'all niggas don't know how I feel deep down
Be careful how you speak when yo' ass come around

On the outside you see me smile, but the inside so empty
This tank's on E in the rain, snow, sleet
Don't even wanna eat, family missing me
Don't really wanna speak, I'm lost and stranded
Feels like I've been abandoned
I'm no king, got no queen, look at all the cards I've been handed

So sick of this shit, all I do is pray but it feels I can't a break
Fallin' off the deep end, but no matter what I will not break
The shit I take you can't take, I'm a once in a lifetime make
A rare breed, I've seen so much, at this point shit don't scare me

When we was kids I'll never forget, didn't have to worry 'bout a thing
Now we all grown up, people come and go and the perspective has changed
Feels so different, deciduous trees in the season of snow
Might feel naked, might feel cold, but you'll never be alone (Ooh-ooh)

A cold world we're living in, it's like we've gone mad
I'd do anything to trade it all for the things I used to have
Sometimes I ask myself, "is this even real"
On the outside you see me smile, but you don't know how I feel

Feel like I'm astral projecting or maybe I've been misguided
When I see my own reflection, I can't even recognize it
I'm not myself, doin' some shit that I got no business doin'
But maybe things would be different if I had a strong influence

Had to think, "what would life be like if I grew up with a father"
Part of me wanna just hit him up, but the other half just won't bother
I gotta admit, not into Jap-horror but I'm holdin' this grudge
Let bygones be bygones and close this case like a judge

So now what, gotta keep it movin' cause time waits for nobody
Used to have many friends, all the years went by
Now I look around, there's nobody, nobody but me
I thought it would end differently, but I guess that ain't so
Feels so empty, feels so cold, got me feeling so alone

All these thoughts in my mind make me wonder what's in store for me
Is there more for me, is there, is there more to me
I wish I could see ahead of time so I could find out the next move
But it just don't work like that, gotta pick my feet up and I ain't ever lookin' back

Gotta brush the pain off 'cause ain't no love in these streets
I got a mother and a brother that depends on me, ya' see
And I ain't ever been one to sit and wait
I just keep my shit movin', gotta pray for better days

A cold world we're living in, it's like we've gone mad
I'd do anything to trade it all for the things I used to have
Sometimes I ask myself, "is this even real"
On the outside you see me smile, but you don't know how I feel

A cold world we're living in, it's like we've gone mad
I'd do anything to trade it all for the things I used to have
And sometimes I ask myself, "is this even real"
On the outside you see me smile, but you don't know how I feel
(On the outside you see me smile, but you don't know, dont know)

But you don't know, dont' know
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh
Ooh-yea-yea-yea-yea-yea
Ooh-yea

You don't know, you dont know what I'm goin' through
My world is falling now what am I gonna do
This don't feel right, in so much pain at night
But I gotta gain control, 'cause this is my life

And I don't know how I'm dealing
But I gotta fight this feeling
You see the pain right through my eyes
And now you know how I feel
Now you know