Halloween Monster Blues (Hard to Meet Women When You Look Like This)

Well, Frankenstein was a friend of mine
We used to go out for a beer or a glass of wine
And we'd talk about all the things that were dragging us down

I'd complain about traffic or kids these days
And why my boss won't give us a raise
And he'd shake his head and say: Man you got nothing on me

I got this big old body and a little tiny brain
That was stolen from a guy who was criminally insane
And then they sewed these bolts on the side of my neck

But the biggest hassle is the dating scene
When you're six foot ten and your skin's a pale green
It makes it kind of difficult to find a lady

He said its hard to meet women when you look like this
You can count on one finger all the ones that I've kissed
I try not to scare 'em, but I can't resist
It's hard to meet women when you look like this

Well my friend Drac's got a cape on his back
He's got pointy little teeth and his hair's slicked back
And that accent of his, man you'd think the girls would come running

But it's hard to date women in the usual way
When you're sleeping in a box in the basement all day
And that thing about changing into a bat, that just freaks 'em out

He used to have a girl, her name was Jane
Until he sunk his teeth into her jugular vein
And that's what Dr. Phil calls a relationship ender

He said its hard to meet women when you look like this
You can count on one finger all the ones that I've kissed
I try not to scare 'em, but I can't resist
It's hard to meet women when you look like this

Now the Wolfman he's not all that scary
Sure his teeth are a little pointy and his face is a little hairy
But after all he's a cousin of man's best friend

He's house broke and up to date on his shots
And compared to most guys, that's saying a lot
And you've got to admit ladies, he's rocking that mullet

Just don't be around him when the moon is full
He'll tear out your lungs and bash in your skull
I guess you gotta just say its his time of the month

He said its hard to meet women when you look like this
You can count on one finger all the ones that I've kissed
I try not to scare 'em, but I can't resist
It's hard to meet women when you look like this

So ladies all I'm asking is you give them a chance
Buy them a beer or ask them to dance
Beneath that cold exterior is a heart of gold

I think the danger here is over rated
Can't be worse than the bike you dated
Or that creepy guy you met on date.com

These guys ain't monsters they're just misunderstood
A firm handed woman would do 'em some good
And besides, you always said you liked the bad boys anyway

They say its hard to meet women when you look like this
You can count on one finger all the ones that we've kissed
We try not to scare 'em, but we can't resist
It's hard to meet women when you look like this
It's hard to meet women when you look
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