Everybody's Rich but Us

You might have noticed, um
I used to sing very hoarsely
I have a cold so my, my voice cleared up a little bit
Craig once described my voice as sounding like a gargle with Dutch cleanser
That's one of the reasons why I sing only my own songs
I mean with a voice like mine, why screw up somebody else's material?

There's not much fuzz on an apple
Very little hair on a grape
It's only the lack of a beard on a peach
Keeps it from being an ape

One more time around Piccadilly Circus
Driver, follow that bus
It's a shame the way the rich folks work us
Everybody's rich but us

Road hog

I bought my doggie a muzzle
So he wouldn't bite the man with the mail
But there was a mailman dead on the walk
He'd killed him with his tail

Oh, one more time around Gooseberry Junction
Driver, follow that bus
It's rather hard for us to function
Everybody's rich but us

I gave my son a pep talk
'Bout the birds and the bees
He understood so quickly
Shot off in the breeze

First, he'd chase a chipmunk
Then he chased the bird
Now he's married to a bumblebee
That is absurd

Oh, one more time around Piccadilly Circus
Driver, follow that bus
It's a shame the way the rich folks work us
Everybody's rich but us

I went hunting tigers
I got a tiger's tail instead
When folks say, "Where's your tiger's tail?"
I reply, "Four foot from its head"

One more time around Piccadilly Circus
Driver, follow that bus
It's a shame the way the rich folks work us
Everybody's rich but us

Yes, everybody everybody everybody everybody
Everybody's rich but us