I'm Sorry

Are you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah

If you hearing this right now then I'm probably dead
Or possibly layin' up in a hospital bed
Reflecting on shit I've caused and probably said
Not a drinker, but I could use a shot to the head
Or four to the chest, a rope to the neck
Trynna balance my personal battle, copin' with stress
Hope for the best, holdin' my breath
You souls waited for my tombstone before you showed me respect
Lord knows the way it goes, they don't love you 'til you die
Swearin' up and down that they were runnin' by your side
Could've let it slide but I'm probably not alive
And if I am then you probably won't proceed with the lies
Notice eyes full of tears and they got me so fed up
I hope to communicate from wherever I end up
The love you givin' now that I'm gone got me heated
If only I received it when breathing

I said I'm sorry
I didn't make it
I got surrounded by my sorrows and they shake it
I tried to roll with every punch but couldn't take it
I got to feel the realest pain and they'd replace it
I said I'm sorry
I didn't make it
I'm not a crier but these tears I couldn't fake it
I gave my heart and tasted love and then they break it
I'm sorry
I just hope I ain't mistake it, yeah

Felt like no one can feel me, uh
Wishin' someone would kill me, uh
Walk around with this damage, they take advantage once I reveal me, uh
All this baggage 'cause they see cabbage
Instead of seeing the real me, uh
All this baggage from all the damage that came
Can somebody heal me? uh
I just wanted embrace, but it's hard to let people near me, aye
And I beef with myself, to the point I'm startin' to fear me, aye
Screamin' out for assistance, but it's like nobody hear me, aye
In a room full of people, still feel like the only one here b, aye
I been talkin' to God, really hoping for guidance
But I can't see his signs, my eyes been burnin' from crying
And that's the part (I'm on dyin'?), no
And as I'm laying here dyin'
I notice nobody's with me, not even the ones I confide in
Ammo made for me confiding to you it's a shame
That my last ride'd to be ridin' with you
This is something that I sat down and decided to do
And I'm sorry but there ain't no way that I'm gonna move

I said I'm sorry
I didn't make it
I got surrounded by my sorrows and they shake it
I tried to roll with every punch but couldn't take it
I got to feel the realest pain and they'd replace it
I said I'm sorry
I didn't make it
I'm not a crier but these tears I couldn't fake it
I gave my heart and tasted love and then they break it
I'm sorry
I just hope I ain't mistake it, yeah

I wasn't braver
Sorry I wasn't stronger
I'm sorry I didn't wait to see if it would go on longer
I'm sorry I didn't feel like there'd be a better tomorrow
I'm sorry I let you keep love I should've let you borrow
I'm sorry for all the memories and taking up your time
Sorry I wasted yours and I'm sorry you wasted mine
I'm sorry I didn't fight more
I'm sorry for your tears
I'm sorry I was a burden in the time that I was here
I'm sorry you have to see me in this battered up condition
I'm sorry if my decision puts you in a bad position
I'm sorry if I-
I'm sorry if I hurt you
I'm sorry if this wasn't my greatest action of virtue
I'm sorry you lookin' at me with a sadness in your heart
I'm sorry I didn't tell you all I wanted to depart
I'm sorry you think it's dumb
I'm sorry for being numb
I'm sorry I wanted all of you and ain't settle for some
I'm sorry you gotta hear me like this
You hear me like this?
I'm sorry I ain't a hero you can't cheer me like this
I'm sorry if I brought you any stresses to ya mind
I'm sorry I couldn't survive in the battle against mine
I'm sorry I ain't consider y'all feelings while on the brink
I'm sorry I couldn't grow because the pains are making me shrink
I'm sorry I was too prideful to ever go see a shrink
I'm sorry I never took the time to figure what you think
I'm sorry for being out for myself for once with my choice
I'm sorry this is the last time you'll probably hear my voice
I'm sorry if you hear this and can't handle that I'm gone
I'm sorry I had these thoughts and took them further beyond
I'm sorry if I'm still here, I caused you all to worry
I'm sorry that I wanna make my exit in a hurry
I'm sorry I can't handle the most simple of emotions
I'm sorry I don't bounce back and get things into motion
I'm sorry that I failed myself and let y'all down
I'm sorry all I want to do is forget y'all now
I'm sorry I'm always sorry
I'm sorry for saying sorry
I'm sorry it's always sorry
I'm sorry for staying sorry
Tell me I'm weak
Tell me I'm selfish
Tell me I'm about to find out what Hell is
Tell me I mattered to you and it's all a mistake
Tell me everything you wanted 'til you blue in the face
Tell me how bad it hurts, you love me, and that you mean it
Tell me all that bullshit until you start to believe it
Tell me God's pissed 'cause I played with my life
Tell me how you hope it's a dream and that it ain't right
Tell me how you wished that we'd go for another ride
Tell me how you wished that you could look me in the eyes
Tell me how you care 'bout these feelings I chose to hide
Tell me all the things that you ain't said when I was alive
Give me the love that I wanted while I was tryin'
Give me the touch that I needed while I was cryin'
Give me the roses that I'll never get to smell
Give me the hashtag while I try to avoid Hell
And as I lay here and bleed by myself
I think about a life where I can be someone else
So I'm goin' into hopin' next won't be like this
Sucks to know that I'm prolly gonna leave like this

But I'm sorry
I said I'm sorry
(I said I'm sorry)