Colonel Crane's Fighting Train

It was a quiet Sunday morn' in a town the sun adorned
Then the ground shook with prevailing, heavy force
Chuggin' down the mountain with a stream of steady steam
There quickly loomed a silv'ry, shining iron horse

The sound of steel grinding gears announced the entrance of its fares
Shrewdest of all was slicker than the frozen rain
With the strength of sixty steers and a sneer the devil fears
Steps Colonel Crane out from his mighty fightin' train

Colonel Crane's (Colonel Crane's)
Fightin' Train (Fightin' Train)
Along with a postal clerk and two nerd boys
He's got chic, unique mystique
And one heartless, hard mean streak
And he don't ever lose his focus or his poise

The metal beast with rocket kin was not a match for Ol' Crane's skin
They made a blast that all of southern Georgia heard
From Talladega to San Fran, they were a solid, allied band
And the hopes of Southern victory were stirred

Colonel Crane's (Colonel Crane's)
Fightin' Train (Fightin' Train)
Now chasing down a menace; mental, metal man!
With the eyes of ill intent
He's a force that won't relent
The time has come to make a heavy, trying stand

In grand Seattle, cloaked in rain, Dmitry and Colonel Crane
Fought to the last in the setting of our end
On a clanking metal ship, the two sides brawled upon its lip
But Mighty Crane held strong, his will would never bend

Colonel Crane's (Colonel Crane's)
Fightin' Train (Fightin' Train)
His legend's told with fervor nearby and abroad
He's the grand, firm-handed man
With the grandest master plan
And he'd never, ever commit mail fraud