Grandpa's Advice

I remember Sunday drivin' in my Grandpa's car
Old songs on the radio; the smell of his cigar
Everybody'd honk at him, because he'd drive so slow
He'd just laugh and tell me, "Kid, here's something you should know"

They're all jerks,
When you're out here on your own
Just assume that everybody else is half-asleep or stoned
They're all jerks,
Not a one knows how to drive
So you gotta pay attention to make it home alive
I'll give you my philosophy, I guarantee it works
Repeat it after me, kid,
They're all jerks.

He said, "They'll let any fool with money buy himself a car
And you can get a license here, however dumb you are
Oh they all turn into hotrods when they slide behind the wheel
When you get old enough to drive, remember here's the deal: "

They're all jerks,
When you're out here on your own
Just assume that everybody else is half-asleep or stoned
They're all jerks,
Not a one knows how to drive
So you gotta pay attention to make it home alive
I'll give you my philosophy, I guarantee it works
Repeat it after me, kid,
They're all jerks.

Twenty-five years later, I've got children of my own
And I do all the driving between school and job and home
Sometimes on the weekends we head out for the beach
Now with the kids strapped in the backseat now it's my turn to teach
So everytime I'm cut off by some wise-guy in a truck
Or some hero in a sportscar whose gotta push his luck
I don't get scared or angry, I just sing this little song
It always cheers me up to hear my children sing along

They're all jerks
When you're out here on your own
Just assume that everybody else is drunk or on the phone
They're all jerks,
And not a one knows how to drive
So you gotta pay attention to make it home alive
I'll give you my philosophy, I guarantee it works
Repeat it after me, kids,
They're all jerks
(They're all jerks)
I said Repeat it after me, kids,
They're all jerks
(They're all a bunch of jerks)