Away When You Were Here

Dad, I know you were sad when you died
And I was young, it's the way I kept you in my mind
The mess that was left and my mother cried
And when she stood up, she was nobody's mother, I'd be fine

But I missed you then and I miss you now
Like you'd miss things I might say
You seemed lost in clouds but I'm older now
I can see through lifting haze
That you were away even when you were here

Sometimes, a phrase or a manner that's you
Comes through me, it goes in a flash
It's a frame, it's a blink, like life
Oh, and how much now should we pay for the past?
'Cause you could age with grace if I freed you in my mind

But I loved you then and I love you now
All the things I wish I'd asked
When I'm lost in clouds
I remember how I was robbed and I was blessed
And you were away even when you were here

'Cause it's not about you, not you, anymore
It's about what I do with it all
And I, I'll never let you let me down

This morning, I wake to be older than you were
Fresh white snow for miles, every footstep will be mine
You'd have lost that weight, you'd have gone so straight
You'd have made my wedding day
You'd have saved my youth from that bullet of truth
You'd have kept those wolves at bay

But you were away
You were away even when you were here