Russian Roulette

A little bit of wind in my face, a little bit of rain on my skin
A little bit of something else to feel, bring me back again

A little bit of coffee to keep me warm
A little bit of shelter from the storm
A little bit of heartache to keep me broken
And a flower to say I'm yours

A lotta bit of troubles to drag me down
A lotta bit of beggin you to stick around
And a whole lot extra wonderin why I'm here

This isn't a song about suicide
Maybe it is but don't even try
To stop me, cause I wasn't gonnna do it anyways
This is a song about wanting to die
Or tryna kill the person inside
Cause it's not me, and I don't know when it was

A little bit of self hatred to teach me right
A little bit of bad dreams to keep me up all night

I've grown to be what I despise
It's never so simple on the inside
It rocks me, like an uncomfortable baby

5 years ago, I played a game with a sick twisted chemical
I took handful of pesticides and
Cried myselt to sleep that night singin
Give me good news Russian roulette
Tell me I was meant to live
Tell me I will get through this
Tell me life will have some give

I always scream into this empty abyss
It's death that knocks in moments like this
We never think about what we would miss
If we jumped into that empty abyss