Seventeen

A lot of things that I'll never know
So many scars that I just can't show
And I don't know if there's a god above
Still trying to figure out how to love myself
Problematic, or so it may seem
When I left my home at 17
I thought I could just leave it all behind
But then I realised that it's in my head

Still I carry these regrets
I wanted to, but I can't forget
Still I'm haunted by the time
I saw that fear in my mother's eyes
Broken window, and a broken mind
Lock the door, seal the pain inside
Vaguely remember giving in
With a cold sharp blade cutting through my skin

To this day still haven't figured out
What it all means, but yet without a doubt
I keep on going with my ups and downs
I keep on going, good enough for now
I long for quiet, I'm a nervous wreck
Try to silence all these noises in my head
At times like these, I'm hanging by a thread
Keep pulling at it, cause I feel depressed

Still I carry these regrets
I wanted to but I can't forget
Still I'm haunted by the time
I saw that fear in my father's eyes
On the floor with a broken rope
Marks on my neck, and in my hand a note
I was giving in, because I'd lost all hope
Now i'm so fucking glad that it snapped and broke

Sorry Mother and I'm sorry Dad
I'm sorry for all the shitty times we had
I'm sorry for all your fucking guilt
Make no mistake, 'cause it was all my fault
And to my brothers, I apologise
Can't even bear to look you in the eyes
I'm sorry that I was no good
I'd take it back, if I only could
I only hope you can understand
That none of this, was ever what I planned
A fallen angel, and I lost control
When I gave up, I fucking sold my soul
Still I'm trying to find myself
To reach out when I'm in need of help
Redemption doesn't come that quick
And the guilt inside it makes me fucking sick
And so i'll put it in this song
And I can't explain what went wrong
But I'm sorry for all I've ever done



Credits
Writer(s): Christopher Goode
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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