subtexts (Poem)

Losing footing, chasing dreams while other things threaten to choke me
Holding on to blind hopes, hoping life won't (own me?)
Bending my spine to find the lines where I'm allowed to write
And my right to breathe is bigger than the steed that drives your ego.
I'm almost someone
Someone I love
But I'm out of sync
Tripping on preseps and words unspoken making
tokens for subjects that most certainly spell out my death
Again
I'm struggling for breath
Running after pay cheques scratched in a back of
a taxi while men make passes at me like they own me
Mentaly undress me and call me baby like they know me
I guess I was born in a world that thinks it owns me
Makes me think so
Makes me silently rage at their audacity to do so
I don't speak well
But my pen flows
My mouth is desiccated of all the power of my
right hand where all my thoughts come alive and stand
Even though I look like I'm coloring
But this towering doubt that as a woman my
only clout is that rests between my thighs
And all I hear are lies so they can have a piece of it
I'm sick of it
This game of shame
Of cursing my name and making me pay for it
Pay for your lust with the scraps of my trust
Busting myself to suit you, to please you and serve you
And ask myself 'who is it you've become?'
Well I love myself, when this is done
I can't find it in myself to run
To dance across the place where you don't make sense
And the suspense is worth nothing to me
I'll pay a careful eye on the plate and in
between the words aren't the only things one speak.
And I see all the context
Of the subtexts