Apologies

I'm getting better at not saying sorry
And just forgiving myself
I'm getting better at calling your bullshit
Within a reasonable doubt
I'm always making these jokes about manners
And how lost everyone out here seems to be
But honestly I'm the type of woman who profusely apologies when I shouldn't be
I really try not to think about the years
And all the people and the time I wasted on them
I really try to think it was all very meaningful
And it was just building up to be this really great moment
Because there's so many ways to live and there's so many reasons to cry
And with just a little bit of a privilege
You can start believing your own lies
I used to be fine being the only woman in the room
But then man
All that noise just starts to get to you
I keep dreaming that someone's truly trying to kill me
And I wake up breathless and terrified to move
Just another reason why we keep our loved ones by our side
'Cause there's no getting out there's only getting through it
I'm getting better at walking away
And closing the door loudly behind me
'Cause there's no trophy at the end
Of the day for being easy going and charming