I Can't

I can't quit this thing
But without it life will sting
I can feel my worries shrink
But it stains me like it's ink
I can feel it ripping at my heart and tearing me apart
As if I focus on it harder than years ago at the start
Swore I could kill it and quit it and give it up in a minute
But it always drags me back as if it's part of my spirit
Livin with this evil I can never get a grasp
On what I wanna do in life and opportunities that pass
When the light fades away, it'll take it's time
And I'll just pray, that I'll be fine
I always have this feelin that a shadow creeps around my neck
With nothing going right I wonder how I'm gonna keep in check
Gonna have to be the one that gives a shit about myself
Cause no one else endorses what I think or how i treat myself
Now I'm going away
Working every day of my job as if I like the pay
One more time I'd like to be in my right mind
Fuck this crime it's been driving me blind

I can't be someone
Living life under the sun
No I can't be someone
Independent of what I've become

Maybe you know how this feels
Not enough money for meals
Waitin for life to reveal
When things will be ideal
Show I can finally portray the music spinnin in my head
With all the sounds and the emotion that this life has always fed
Just give me the chance to share my thoughts with those who care
Not running fingers on my head and pullin hair out after hair
I've always wondered what I would be like if I went back in time
Would I be here, or be in a better prime
The more I think about it I know that life is not mine
And I wish the one I'm livin found the end of the line
Maybe there is something in me giving me a hint of hope
I just need to find it before I let go of this rope
I'm dangling, it's strangling, it's something I'm not managing
And for some other reasons I think my life is dismantling
I don't want to be gone
But this feelings lasting forever and ever long
I think I might need someone's help to turn me to the straight and narrow
Before anything else happens and I never get the memo

I can't be someone
Living life under the sun
No I can't be someone
Independent of what I've become