Upsidedown

Dear diary, it's 11:11
Only been up for an hour and I'm already stressin'
Sick of people saying that i should be counting my blessings
As if i haven't been, feeling like I'm still lacking seven
My adrenaline is rushing to the core of my brain
Memories of her and i, yea that's the core of my pain
Thinking about the times i had to scrape up quarters and change
Just to grab something to eat and split it four different ways
It was me, Lala and Lilly huddled up in the trap
Then i started getting sick, that shit was wicked no cap
I couldn't eat more than a plate of anything that they gave me
Id take a bite and that was that, id tell them "send that shit back"
I wasn't tryna be picky, my body just wasn't rocking
Cuz I was too busy cheefin', i probably should've been stopping
But I was fighting my demons, cuz there was too many plotting
On taking away my soul tryna claim that they've got it,nah
But i still know it's divine
I still love her even though i know her heart isn't mine
Maybe it is, maybe it's not, i'll get my answers with time
But until then gotta move before i get left behind
Ain't no point saying "i love you" cuz you won't even hear it
See i don't do this shit for fun, i write these songs from my spirit
My shadow self is staring at me but i no longer fear it, i'm interfering

(Ohh ohh)

Said angels fly around the windows
Cuz they know that love gets
Lost with time in the
Upsidedown

Dear diary, I don't know what to do
I should be talking to God instead of talking to you
But I'm not gonna lie, I feel like I'm just wandering through
Spaces and time, tryna find a door to the truth
Cuz life is a mess and I must confess
I'm tired of waking up and always feeling like I'm depressed
Tired of having toxic thoughts before I even get dressed
I'm tired of everything in life having to be "just a test"
They try and tell me I'll be fine like they know how it feels
To lose a love that makes you question if this life is even real
Make you open up a heart that always swore it was sealed
And wouldn't leave you with the wounds until they made sure it's healed
But this is just my position
Something bout this heartache is sticking me really different
I don't wanna go out I ain't really tryna be chillin
And fake like my life is good with the other side of me hidden
I'm tryna be what she isn't, I'm tryna figure my life out
Got me using pens again, everything that I write out is filled with
A deeper passion than anything I could type out
Might as well go to heaven and tell the angels to fly out
Before the fake artists die out
I only ask that you spare
People with hearts of gold that ain't selfish and really care
About important shit, like us breathing in filthy air
Or those who wouldn't mind if I had nothing and we shared
Without them giving me stares
I really need you to listen
Fuck going to war cuz I'm still the peace that you missin'
I was wrong before I mean honestly I be trippin'
But that still isn't a reason to cut me off and keep dippin'
Unless you honestly finished, in that case I'll get to steppin'
Safe to say I think that I've learned a valuable lesson
A lesson that will bring me to blessings for which I'm destined
And everyone gon' be sorry they ever left me rejected
Just cuz I wasn't perfected, I mean it

Said angels fly around the windows
Cuz they know that love gets
Lost with time in the
Upsidedown

mmm