Summer Anxiety

Wish I matured sooner when I was younger
Instead of fucking with my reality

Trying to be a suburban shaman
Not dealing with why I am so unhappy

Wish my thoughts made sense
And I know I can be too intense

Lately I've been tired
And I really want to be fired

I just want some time off

What am I gonna do on vacation
Do I really wanna travel

Or do I just want to stay inside and read
Do I just want to stay inside and draw

Well, I don't even know

Winter's coming so you better get going
Then you're get gotten and times forgotten

Dying yr hair different colors again
Shaving away all those other body hairs

Then you're an itchy porcupine
Well that's just me oh my I eee mine

I just am a little living creature

That keeps changing and growing
But will I ever be satisfied

I am an addict

Give me give five hours of pornography please
Give me three bacon cheese
Pills would go good with these

Lost count of all those beers
I wonder if there's cocaine in my tears

Is my addiction escape
from my hunger for escapism
Feel like I'm not making progress
In therapy
Feel like meditation just gives me
More anxiety
Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't
But I'll keep trying like I am sober now
That's just me
But really does it come down
That I am selfish
Really does it come down that I am afraid to help other people
Cuz I can't help myself
It's hard for me to open lately
It's hard for me to hear reality
When the news is just tragedy
Keep living in a fantasy