19 (Never Again)

I don't forget or forgive told myself never again I don't let nobody in

Since a youth I always knew I would be great
Didn't know where to start I couldn't make a way
No idea there's a price that I had to pay
Let my mind travel can't stay in a safe state
Started making mental moves in my early teens
Had family had friends thought they were on my team
Found the truth the hard way so I had to change my scheme
Had no support when life started to make me lean
'09 a year I won't forget
No regret the best shit when I chose to disconnect
That year was a turning point in my life
Created distance felt it was only right
For some reason I came back
Got a new cell phone and this shit's whack
In order to get to the destination in my soul's map
I have to act the way I did when I fucking snapped

Awe damn didn't think I'll be here again
Didn't think I'd relapse on this feeling
Fuck a phone, fuck talking, fuck a friend too
Fuck the internet fuck a social group
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
I'm going back to how I was at 19

Broke and solo that's when I made the most progress
Kept quiet stayed focused on my conquest
I'm dead inside I'm a man possessed
Hate talking when I do I always show respect
Started meditating that's when I realized
Relationship or friendship
Every ship I had capsized
Became the captain of my boat started skating more
With goals on deck I'm always on board
Won't connect too many are makeshift
I really hate this but I can't be basic
I won't fake it keep it G and I will make it
Trying to be liked is time wasted following is tasteless
Had to teach myself class not to be mean
I don't know a soul that can sit with me
People sucked the life out me about time they got weaned
I made the best choice of my life as a teen

Awe damn didn't think I'll be here again
Didn't think I'd relapse on this feeling
Fuck a phone, fuck talking, fuck a friend too
Fuck the internet fuck a social group
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
I'm going back to how I was at 19

Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
Fuck this fuck that fuck everything
No hate for the girls that ran when they wanted me
Fuck college those assholes stole my twenties
Fuck spending time complaining
About to pull a heist for my life I set arrangements
My consistent mood is not anger
I was beyond my years as a teenager

You can call me a Scrooge since I won't holler
If I duck the lazy then I'll retain dollars
Couldn't picture myself back in mind frame
Can't forget the day things severely changed
I never was the same
I never was the same
I never was the same
I never was the same
I never was the same
I never was the same
When I felt that pain when I was 19

And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb

And now I'm fucking numb
Living with no regrets
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
And now I'm fucking numb
You should see the shit I got tatted on my chest