Monsters

I see you leave the TV on to try to sleep
I think you're scared of your thoughts or is it me?
You're smoking too much, I do believe
You look at empty ciggie packs in disbelief
No you don't want happy, you want relief
You don't want love, you want release
Look at the chaos that's in the streets
Look at the monsters inside the deep

Lazy beat, crazy feet, monsters live in my sheets
Internet rappers, Facebook rapper beef
Pussy like rappers, spit shit that smell like queef
Drugs and money real talk that was never me
"Wiser so humble", real talk, man. I'm full of greed
Fame over money, real talk for that green
Craziest I've ever been, craziest you've ever seen
"Tuma I'm scared" real raw, man you better be
I know I look calm, but it's always sad songs
I try and read Psalms and keep the bible next to me
But the bottle and the women get the better me
I hope I get the chance to change before I rest in peace
And my ex-girl took the rest of me
The small part that could've made a better me
I got my friends, my music, alcohol and nicotine
And my flow sicker than leprosy
You rappers are skin deep my bars break bones
My flow is like E.T. it needs to phone home
Meaning that my flow is out of this world
So it's fuck the world and onto the next girl
To be honest I'm scared that I'm losing it
I'm sipping vodka like it's water without juicing it
Fuck being sober, fuck getting older, liquor has me feeling kind of normal so I'm choosing it
Wrote a song about my sister and I hope she's cool with it
My bras all think I've got the juice, I hope a nigga proving it
Meeme hears the cussing and she thinks that I'm a fool with it
Had a lucid looking mirror think the liquor loosened it
And I blame weed
I haven't been the same since that day I blazed with strangers at fourteen
Those were my dude's friends
We were drinking at the bar, I never knew them
They say you never get high, man
On your first time, man
But I hallucinated, on that first time, man
It made me doubt if I only smoked kush
It made wonder if there was dust in the bush
And I smoked for a while after that
But anxiety start building up, so ciggies pack to pack
Felt trapped inside my mind, so liquor back to back
It made me write some good songs so there's that