Hypocrite

I pray that my kids will be nothing like me
A moral code that I'm still busy fighting
3 a.m. and a nigga still busy writing
Cigarettes for my mind just to keep it spiking
And I'm really trying to quit for this girl I'm liking
But there's things I'm going through I'm keeping silent
'Cause it's not my part to tell
It's not hard to tell
That my soul is really crying
I'm not even trying
I don't care for me
I'm still alive cause my mother still pray for me
I'm well aware of the things that are bad for me
And thanking God in my music sounding like blasphemy
And my poems make people say preach
But my raps make people get drunk and smoke weed
I rhyme about the things that people don't need
Gun metaphors never seen a man bleed
Fees Must Fall but I never do a deed
Then I rap kill them all I rap about the greed
I rap about the boys one day I will feed
Then I rap about the finish line I'm scared I'll never see

I'm a hypocrite
Everybody down your globe you can be like me
First thirty at the door and the drinks are free
Please give me an applause for the things I preach
I'm a hypocrite
Everybody down your globe you can be like me
First thirty at the door and the drinks are free
Please give me an applause for the things I preach

Say one thing, but go and do the other
In the shadows I rebel against my mother
Pseudo peace of mind when I'm drinking undercover
Gin and tonic for my sisters and my brother
Holy shit what a year
2017 can't believe I made it here
Let's be clear
'Cause 2016 is the worst I've ever been through
Bottled up trauma that almost ripped my mental
I'm a hypocrite, I'm not doing okay
There's a weight in my chest that's about to break me
Some days feel like something's trying to suffocate me
Thank God for the wonderful soul who chose to date me
'Cause lately
I've been having bad days
Just enough good days for me to hold on
'Cause it's not bad days
It's the night time pain need a cold one
I've been feeling so low
Hold my feelings so close
Maybe one day I will write what's in my brain
Either people don't know
Or people don't show
Or people don't care about the pain

I'm a hypocrite
Everybody down your globe you can be like me
First thirty at the door and the drinks are free
Please give me an applause for the things I preach
I'm a hypocrite
Everybody down your globe you can be like me
First thirty at the door and the drinks are free
Please give me an applause for the things I preach

Don't look at me
This club's too full, can't breath, stop pushing me
Going to need a gwaai and a couple more drinks in me
I thrived the whole week it's like home is where I'm visiting
And I'm never missing it
Who has the bottle? Swing it here let's finish it
Need another drag, bring it here before killing it
I swear 2017 addictions I'm sealing it
But the beer plaak I'm feeling it
Head rush I'm digging it
Only go to church for mamma
Then justify my problems cognitive dissonance
Kiss my baby nephew forehead
Wonder how it works in your head
In our household stress is name calling
They try to hide it, but I see it on their foreheads
And I see it in the mirror too
"How was your day?" (It was fine)
"It was fine and you?" (Hypocrite)
Who's fooling who?
Take another shot to this beat that I'm cruising to

I'm a hypocrite
Everybody down your globe you can be like me
First thirty at the door and the drinks are free
Please give me an applause for the things I preach
I'm a hypocrite
Everybody down your globe you can be like me
First thirty at the door and the drinks are free
Please give me an applause for the things I preach