I Cannot

Don't tell me I'm good at rapping, im still not successful
The fact I'm talented and broke is honestly so stressful
I used to write bars on a paper with a pen or pencil
But now this nine to five routine is really in my mental
I'm told I got a chance, I'm told I've been persistent
But now I hear my own rapping and feel so pessimistic
I spit a verse or two they shouting "Lalo really did this"
But where is Lalo succeeding with all his fans and riches?
I start other rappers careers but where is my percentage
I fell in love with my music and made it my own fetish
Embedded within my soul, yet the people still don't get it
I'm told I have to give my soul bc I've been indebted
I owe the world my work, my rapping yeah, reset it
Starting all over with a verse and then humbly guess it
Whether I do it with some or none is really not the question
But if I'm doing this for life is what I'm testing

AM I REALLY DOING THIS OR NOT?
I'M FEELING LIKE I HAVEN'T DONE A LOT
BUT EVEN IF I REALLY DONE A LOT
I DON'T STOP, WHATEVER I HAVE FIGURED OUT OR THOUGHT
I CANNOT
WORK FOR ANOTHER FOR A DOLLAR
I CANNOT
I DO IT FOR MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER
I CANNOT
I DO IT FOR MY FUTURE SON OR DAUGHTER
I CANNOT
I CANNOT

This motivational rap is really just killing me
I lack the motivation but people say that they're feeling me
But thats because that trap music ain't real for me
The deal with me is music is something more that's been healing me
Concealing everything and keeping me away from villainy
Feeling the rhythm chillin through my soul is fulfilling me
Put me on a beat i never heard its a thrill for me
But still I am a sheep within the herd, is that his will for me?
Four years I done graduated from high school
I'm fooled to think that anybody weaker might do
Better because they're willing but no one got the right proof
I choose to be the man in the chair, cuz I do
More than the rap, i do the paperwork and such that
Anybody wanting to rap is gonna run back
To they nine to five cuz they don't wanna do nun' that
I've been quiet but Lalo's making a comeback
Lyrics shining, like the sun gave me a sunbath
I still embrace the Son because He is the only One that
Really gave me life bc my dads life lunged back
To the hands of the Father, who only gave me one dad

"But Dad, if you're hearing me now
I know you resting now but if you can see from the clouds
Got a business in our home like when you were around
I know you looking from the heavens and I'm making you proud"
But a lot
Has happened ever since you went away
Yeah a lot
Has happened but I know I can't retain
I cannot
Gotta stay motivated here today
And tomorrow pick up a dolla for my momma til' I fade

Running a marathon is more than running some laps
It's showing that you could run even if others just can't
It's making it to the end even if you coming at last
It's pushing until you sweating and no one watching ya back
No one listens to rap, just a couple feeling the words
I sweat a couple of bars, implemented into the verse
Building a business here and done get it into the dirt
I'm leading so other people can reap up all of their work
In bringing them from the herd, and sweating them for the bag
I'm showing ya that I've learned, demonstrating here that I can
I know that for many years I procrastinated and lagged
Executed all that I got but I'm really making a plan
I'm never taking a hand I'm only building a team
I'm never being with sheep, I'm a shepherd bringing the green
Cannot stop, and even if I wanna fall away
I cannot, recognize that Lalo be the name