Hopeless Thoughts

I know your past
I thought that I'd be the last
There's just one thing that I asked
But you told me not to worry
Went and left up in a hurry
Made me feel so fucking worthy
You just up and left and that's when
My heart became so blurry

I'm just sitting here thinking why the fuck we had to fight
We couldn't work out any problems
That were mine but that's hindsight
I couldn't tell you so I write
All this bullshit to the mic
And hope that somehow I can see you one more time but that's a lie
I think of how to tell you but I can't find the fucking words
Or the actions to put behind these feelings that's absurd
But I'm just writing this now
Hoping that it does something
Cause the last time we talked
You told me that you wanted nothing

And i don't understand
Why we had to part our ways
I don't understand
Why I lied straight to your face
I don't understand
Why the fuck I spent those days
Taking you for granted
But I'm missing your embrace
And I can't comprehend
Why the fuck I messed up
I had everything I wanted but a Nigga said so what
Now this feeling in my gut
Got me feeling fucking stuck
So I'm just hopin that these words can maybe somehow reconstruct
Cause I'm just sitting here thinking If that choice was right to make
Shit I dunno but if I do then there's no way I can escape
I wish that I could see your face
One more time to stomp this pain
But I'm just frayed to your emotions
And the truth to my mistake

I'm just wishing for the past
And the feelings that you brought
Even though I fucked it up can you Still love me in that spot?
I'm sitting smokin' thinkin' bout you But you left me here to rot
But if it's possible to retry then I think it's worth a shot