Holding On

I told myself I wouldn't hurt no more
But I don't get to decide - who I love in my life
It's crazy
And every time I open up the door
Pain pushes me to the side - robbing me of my life
I just keep holding on - even though you're gone
I just keep holding on too long - trying to be strong
But you break me down

I was there for you - cared for you -others point and stared at you
Didn't really matter to me - cause no one compared to you
I'm not trying to say that everything they did was fair to you
But I was there because I wanted to - no one dared me to
Not like those other guys who wanted to use you
Abuse you - pass you to the next one and misuse you
I wanted to show you something different you,wasn't used to
Show you what I see - show you you're beautiful
So why would you lie to me - when all I did was try to be
A good man - can anyone say that to you honestly
There's gotta be - something wrong with your mind
To treat me like dirt - when I'm the only one that was kind
You think it won't hurt - if you just say that you're blind
You don't see the reason for feeling - so don't give it time
You're just lying to yourself - denying you need help
I must be stupid - cause I was thinking I'd save you myself

I told myself I wouldn't hurt no more
But I don't get to decide - who I love in my life
It's crazy
And every time I open up the door
Pain pushes me to the side - robbing me of my life
I just keep holding on - even though you're gone
I just keep holding on too long - trying to be strong
But you break me down

A lot of things have happened that I don't understand
But I'm just trying to figure out how could you ever abandon
Someone that you say you love - someone that you used to hug
Used to blow me kisses - then you blew it all for what - some drugs
I don't know - maybe there's just more to it
Than I understand and maybe I just have to go through it
It's possibly the hardest thing that I'll ever have to do
And realize we make our own choices - and you choose this
Over me - over we - over some weed and some pills
And some other things that you don't even need
Me and my sister will miss you - but we didn't have to
Why you always knockin Mama - she was there and not you
And Dad well - as far as I can tell
He never let nobody disrespect you - not even himself
There's so much that you missed - and we'll never get that time back
I Guess I'm missing out too - cause I'm stuck where I'm at

I told myself I wouldn't hurt no more
But I don't get to decide - who I love in my life
It's crazy
And every time I open up the door
Pain pushes me to the side - robbing me of my life
I just keep holding on - even though you're gone
I just keep holding on too long - trying to be strong
But you break me down