Porcelain Atlas

The first time I cried in the hospital bed
Got sick after eating half my lunch
Later unable to carry a tune
Trying to sing Bowie's "Life on Mars"
But nothing goes down and nothing comes out
When you're singing the feeding tube blues

And I cast myself a porcelain Atlas
Shattered and cracked from the weight of the world
And I cried and cried as I crumbled to pieces
And sat as the shower head washed it out of me

Down in a hole where you bury your pain
Deep where you can forget your name
And fill up the trenches with grief and with fear
And ego that cannot be repaired
But all that goes down must somehow come out
After four weeks alone in a room

And I cast myself a porcelain Atlas
Shattered and cracked from the weight of the world
And I cried and cried as I crumbled to pieces
And sat as the shower head washed it out of me

I had one conversation with the doctor yesterday
And I had two trays for breakfast, and I put 'em both away
And I had three nurses testify: the doctors have conferred
And I got four days more 'til they open the door

And I cast myself a porcelain Atlas
Shattered and cracked from the weight of the world
And I cried and cried as I crumbled to pieces
Just look at the mess I've made
We'll start on this another day