Please Break My Heart

They made a new certification after my song sold a billion
I'm the first country artist to go plutonium
My manager keeps asking for the next big hit
But I ain't got a darn thing to show him

I sang about the common man, the sadness we all share
My misfortune made my fortune
But now I've done ran out of all of my bad luck
Won't you spare a little misery for me?

Please won't you break my heart?
Steal my money, take my job, shoot my dog and crash my car
Please won't you break my heart?
I swear it won't take long, and if you don't I could lose it all

I got the greatest job, it's fun and makes me millions
With more beautiful women than I have time to reject
My fleet mechanic makes all my trucks run like a dream
I got a million times times more than what I need

But I still have some problems, don't get me wrong
The maid scrubbed the soul from my old guitar
My account I can't trust, that taxman keeps a-calling
But no one wants to hear about the blues of the 1%

So, please won't you break my heart?
Steal my money, take my job, shoot my dog and crash my car
Please won't you break my heart?
I swear it won't take long, and if you don't I could lose it all

There's only one solution that I know
I'll drive my career into a ditch with the worst songs I can write
Then I'll get back to that shack, drink some beer and be alone
And I'll wallow in my failure, pain, and shame

And I'll write about those dark times
And sail back to fame and fortune
I'll stand in line to get back on that crazy rollercoaster
Of gluttony and fame
Right back to the hell that I'm singing about right now

But first, please won't you break my heart?
Steal my money, take my job, shoot my dog and crash my car
Please won't you break my heart?
I swear it won't take long, and if you don't I could lose it all

Please break my heart