i thought i was doing fine

I never know what's eating away
inside my head, it's always a mess

I started thinking something's wrong
(so wrong)
when I heard what I just said
I thought I was doing fine
(oh no)
didn't notice at the time
then I come crashing,
then I come crashing down
just like an airplane
falling out of the sky - down

"hey now, settle down"
oh, how I wish I could

and it seems like nothing goes my way
and I'm filled with negativity
and I beat myself up
any way that I can

I can never see in time
(never)
what you have seen for days
keep telling myself it's fine
(oh no)
and ignoring all the signs
it's not supposed to,
supposed to be this hard
to realize that
you can't keep pushing this - down

deep down, in my heart
I've always known this

it's so hard to change the way I've thought
for years, for almost half my life
only beat myself up
and put myself down

the years go by but I just stay the same
I try so hard but I can't see a change
can never tell why I feel this way
so disconnected and far away

inside my head
I'm full of doubt
I never know what's eating away
inside my head, it's always a mess